Recently, I put up a quirky little flippant Facebook post that read something like:
“Comment and I will share something I appreciate about you.”
And it is Magic! It is.
About 18 people responded, and I have over 200 friends, so I can only imagine how many people decided not to comment, or why.
And then I kinda panicked…I had *NO CLUE* what I would actually say to these people.
Commenting, though- is an act of magic, it allows my friend a moment of vulnerability, among the cats and the Gaza Madness, a moment to say “Me, please. I would like to know what you think. I would like a compliment, an appreciation.”
I’ve seen appreciations at work. In schools sometimes a sensitive teacher would go around and everyone would stand to receive a compliment or appreciation. I didn’t make the connection in the beginning, but we are all apparently, little kids waiting for the opportunity to be praised.
And wow, how it has affected me. It is so moving, so touching, so challenging, that I can’t even do more than two or three a day. I am sure that some people believe I have forgotten them. I have not. I am merely overwhelmed with emotion. These aren’t flippant, cursory compliments like “Your hair is lovely.” or “You make me smile.” I’ve been telling people how I see and feel and experience them, and it has often left me in tears.
Often, the recipient has responded with tears of their own, or merely a heartfelt “Thank You”. Their friends, often whom I don’t even know, will comment on what I’ve said. Sometimes-though this was not my intention-they respond with an appreciation *for me*. A friend called me “Love’s True Daughter”, and I have taken that as my mantra. It was so strikingly beautiful, elegant, true, and everything I have ever wanted to be. *sniffle*
It’s turned out to be an important part of my continued healing.
***Possibly slightly triggery***I’ve been working with my inner child (who was a victim of incest) and the perpetrator of this crime, called her “Stephanie”. I keep telling her that she isn’t really Stephanie, I tell her that she’s “Love’s True Daughter”. It means the world to me.***End Triggeriness***
I’m crying right now, at the beauty of this elegant, little, experiment. I hope you find a way to do something *just like this* for your loved ones. I think I’ll put out the call once a season, and maybe one day graduate to snail mail letters!
Make your magic, even if it’s just tiny, beautiful things.