Recent world events have caused me to wonder if what I do is *actually* making any difference. I’m sure this is just a moment of despair, wherein it’s not hard to see the Gods in the world per se- but hard to see Them as having much of an impact on the world as a whole.
We all have these moments, but this is a long one for me, more like an hour. As I’ve not worked this year, I’ve spent a lot of time priestessing for people near and far. In the past when I was busy with work, love, and classes, I always assumed that if I had the time my efforts would have more obvious effects. The results haven’t been as firework-laden as I had imagined.
Maybe I don’t understand the size of the things I’m up against, or I imagine that like Delilah or David- I’ll find the Achilles Heel of my foes. Maybe my wins are smaller~ a child I worked with invites a “different” child to play, a woman I lit a candle for stands up for herself at work, a letter of reference I give to an old co-worker helps them achieve a promotion.
I’m brought to my knees daily by the sheer amount of hatred, cruelty, and unkindness in the world. Humanity’s capability to cause harm to itself and other living creatures just leaves me shocked and ashamed.
I suppose there’s not much to do right now, but lie here with my heart at the altar of the Gods, knowing that they too share my pain, weep the tears that come, and live to love another day.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time, always one more time.” Maya Angelou